Tonight’s episode of Monday Night Raw was certainly… interesting.
As advertised, the very gorgeous and very pregnant Maria Kanellis turned up on Raw for a gender reveal party – hosted by The Street Profits for some reason – to announce that she is expecting a baby boy! But that wasn’t the only bombshell the former 24/7 Champion would drop.
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For months now Maria has been berating her husband, Mike Kanellis, and constantly questioning his manhood after his many, many losses on WWE television. She has even gone so far as to suggest that her baby might not even belong to him. Well, tonight’s show saw that story take another very unexpected turn.
Before we even get to the unexpected return of the “Bulgarian Brute” known as Rusev, we definitely have to mention the roughly 10 minutes where Ricochet, of all people, was accused by Maria of being the father of her unborn child. That of course ended in the ring, with Ricochet rather easily disposing of poor Mike.
At this point, Maria informed her emotionally devastated husband that Ricochet was, of course, not the actual father. After continuing to berate Mike for losing, once again throwing his manhood into a moving train, the pregnant Superstar then revealed the actual father…
While Kanellis tried to escape an inevitable collision, even giving up on Maria entirely and wishing Rusev congratulations on his new impending child, the two ultimately met in an impromptu match that the “Bulgarian Brute” easily won. “Adding insult to injury” might be the biggest understatement of the year…
As of now we have no idea if Maria Kanellis is pulling another Ricochet-esque fast one on everybody, including her husband, but it would appear that WWE is going full force into the bizarre with this one. Commentator Corey Graves even referred to Mike as a “beta male cuck” on live primetime television.
Editor’s Note: This is the closest I’m ever going to get to writing a full-on tabloid article, so I’d like to thank the eternally bizarre world of professional wrestling for providing this opportunity to me. Writing a title deserving of only the most trashy celebrity scandal magazines gave me much joy.